"When two objects collide... there is always damage..."

So speaks Jared Harris in the Sherlock Holmes 2 "special content" trailer. What's special about it? Mostly the vox pops they've dumped in the middle of the other footage. But if the other footage includes Lane Pryce from Mad Men twirling his moustache, I'm more than happy to watch it.

Guy Ritchie's Sherlock sequel may not look like a classic (indeed, neither was the fun first one) but Moriarty could be brilliant. Did I mention it was Lane Pryce from Mad Men?

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows is out on Friday 16th December.

Director: Fernando Meirelles
Cast: Anthony Hopkins, Rachel Weisz, Jude Law
Certificate: 15

Somewhere in London, a man is having sex with Rachel Weisz. In Vienna, a female prostitute is posing for topless photos. In America, Anthony Hopkins is getting on a plane. In the audience, people are falling asleep. This is 360, a global trundle around an endless wheel of boredom. You’d have more fun staring at a protractor for half an hour.

Inspired by Arthur Schnitzler’s play La Ronde, Fernando Meirelles’ film aims to look at the way strangers around the world are linked by relationships. But where Schnitzler’s play had the threat of syphilis to keep its sex roulette exciting, 360 is tenuously held together by its own sense of self-importance. And airplanes. Lots of shots of airplanes - presumably the title is the result of a running count.

The London Film Festival 2011 line-up has been announced - and this year I shall be referring to it as the London Fassbender Film Festival. Mainly because George Clooney already dominated the thing in 2009 with more than one film. And his name doesn't begin with an F.

Oh, and also because Michael will be naked for at least two films during the festival. Now that's something worth celebrating.

As we already know, the festival opens with 360, Fernando Meireles' feature-length sex roulette starring Anthony Hopkins, Jude Law, Rachel Weisz and Eminem. It closes with Terence Davies' The Deep Blue Sea, which stars Rachel Weisz (again) and Tom Hiddleston, but sadly no sharks.

Those disappointed with the lack of LL Cool J blowing up fish can take comfort in the fact that silver shark Clooney is still swimming in several seas. His political thriller The Ides of March (with the super-mega-hot Ryan Gosling) is making an appearance, alongside Alexander Payne's The Descendants. 

Literary folks will be looking Lynne Ramsay's way, as We Need to Talk About Kevin makes its inevitable arrival in London, while Andrea Arnold scales Wuthering Heights and Tess of the D'Urbervilles gets the Winterbottom treatment with Freida Pinto and the amazing Riz Ahmed. Ralph Fiennes' Coriolanus is holding Shakespeare's end up, while Roland Emmerich takes it to pieces with Anonymous, starring Rhys Ifans and David Thewlis.

And a special mention should go to The Artist, Michael Hazanavicius' silent film, which looks absolutely gorgeous.

But enough of all that, let's talk about The Fassbender.

As if there weren't enough trailers flying around this week already, Martin Scorsese's Hugo Cabret trailer has turned up as well. And it's interesting, if a little odd. Not least because (for some unknown reason) it's now just called Hugo.

Telling the tale of Hugo (Asa Butterfield), an orphan who lives in a Paris train station, it follows him as he befriends a young girl (Chloe Moretz) and her godfather, early cinema pioneer Georges Méliès (Sir Ben Kingsley).

And so as Sacha Baron Cohen, Helen McCrory, Emily Mortimer, Christopher Lee and Michael Stuhlbarg run around Hugo's adopted home, the world of moving pictures gradually comes to life in the background.

The result is a curious mix of adventure, trains, Jude Law, and that music from Zack Snyder's 3D owl movie. In other words, it's not very Martin Scorsese. Or, to put it simply:

WHERE'S THE BIT WITH GIMME SHELTER? 

Hugo Cabret is out (in 3D) on Friday 2nd December. Read on for the full Hugo trailer as well as the Hugo poster.

So I was at Hampton Court Palace today - as you do - enjoying the maze, the rubbish outdoor toilets, and the incredibly naff gardens with trees that look like a Mario Bros SNES game. Then I spotted two large green screens erected on the lawn out back, along with some equipment and a couple of marquees.

A quick mosey on up to the fencing revealed that it was none other than stuff for the Sherlock Holmes 2 shoot. So, naturally, I took some EXCLUSIVE on location photos. They're so EXCLUSIVE that I have to use big letters whenever I write the word EXCLUSIVE.

"ZOMG! WHERE'S ROBERT DOWNEY JR?"

And there followed several exciting EXCLUSIVE photos of people on location at Hampton Court Palace, where Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes 2 was/is being filmed. This is proper heavy journalistic shizzle here, people. Film paparazzi gold. You will NEVER see pictures of this quality at any reputable film publication.

Read on to suck up the pictorial goodness.

Now that Noomi Rapace is in on the sequel, Sherlock Holmes has got itself someone to play Mycroft Holmes. That someone is Stephen Fry.

Yes, the actor, comedian, writer and all-round King of Twitter has signed on to play the sleuth's older brother in Sherlock Holmes 2. Guy Ritchie's sequel will include Sherlock's mysterious sibling, which the excellent Mark Gatiss recently played in BBC's Sherlock, who is often portrayed as wiser than Sherlock, and more involved with the government's shadier dealings.

Fry made the announcement on Danny Baker's BBC radio show. The role sees Stephen continue to build a reputation in America following his TV series Stephen Fry in America and occasional appearances on US show Bones. He joins the returning stars of the first Sherlock Holmes movie, Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law.

Written by Kieran and Michele Mulroney, Sherlock Holmes 2 starts production next month. The aim is to have it all packaged and shipped out for Friday 16th December next year. By which time we'll hopefully know who will be playing Moriarty...

There are a lot of Hamlet projects flying around at the moment, mostly on stage, but there's one film version that won't be happening any more: Emile Hirsch and Catherine Hardwicke's take on Shakespeare's play has been called off.

Their adaptation (called Haml3t) was aiming to be a modern and young version of the story, playing it out like a suspense thriller with the Twilight and Lords of Dogtown director keen to focus on a musical angle. She told MTV last year:

"It’s a modern-day film, set at a liberal-arts college where words matter — so people are careful and talk in beautiful language, and Hamlet tries to express himself through music. So, we’re using some of the cooler Shakespeare language, in a musical way. Hamlet is like an [aspiring] rock star. He’s got six people that go to his performances, go to clubs and listen to him. It’s like an early Kurt Cobain."

The concept came from Emile Hirsch, who indicated that the film would be shot in Boston in the fall. It obviously wasn't. He explained at the time that he wanted to "lower the ages of everyone in the cast, make it much younger and see how that affects the story". It sounds a bit like Ben Whishaw's acclaimed performance many years back. But now the whole thing has ceased to be, for reasons that aren't exactly clear - probably to do with money.

The last cinematic take on Hamlet came from Ethan Hawke's modern re-imagining. And while we don't exactly need another (it could always turn out closer to O than 10 Things I Hate About You), it's a shame that we won't get to see Hirsch sink his teeth into one of literature's greatest roles. At the very least it would give GCSE English students something to study other than Baz Luhrmann's Romeo & Juliet.

Those needing a Hamlet fix can grab their next hit in Sheffield, where John Simm plays the Dane at the moment. Rory Kinnear's Hamlet follows at the National Theatre in October. And then next year, there's Michael Sheen at the Young Vic to look forward to. 

Following her recent trip to Hollywood, Noomi Rapace has signed on to star in Sherlock Holmes 2.

Since The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo first hit cinemas, Rapace's intense performance as Lisbeth Salander has won her fans all over the industry. Now, the 30 year old actress will be taking on her first English-speaking role.

Work on Guy Ritchie's sequel has been speeding up over the months, with no official word yet on who will be playing Holmes' nemesis Moriarty. Speculation about the appearance of Mycroft, Sherlock's brother, is also doing the rounds. Until now, the only confirmed news has been that Robert Downey Jr and Jude Law will both return as Holmes and Dr Watson.

As for Rapace, she may well follow Rachel McAdams' steps and play a love interest for one of the two gents. She may even be a villain. Some sources are suggesting she'll be playing a French gypsy for some reason. Either way, she's bound to be impressive.

Shooting starts on Sherlock by the end of the year, with Ritchie's second outing now suffering from even higher expectations: they'll somehow have to top the BBC's recent take on the deerstalking detective. 

December was the expected date for Sherlock Holmes' sequel to start shooting, but things have been moving quickly, with the shoot jumping forward several months, according to Jude Law.

Dr Watson told Empire Magazine that October is the new December: "It looks likely that we're going to shoot the second Sherlock Holmes in October... I don't know yet where the story will go, but there are a lot of Sherlock Holmes novels to choose from."

So no news on the story, but the finalised screenplay can't be far away now if Warner Bros are bringing the schedule forward. Maybe Guy Ritchie has discovered the word processor. He certainly hasn't discovered his new villain yet, although Daniel Day-Lewis is still rumoured as a wishlist figure for Sherlock's nemesis Moriarty (a far better choice than Brad Pitt).

As for Holmes' companion, he's taking it easy before sleuthing kicks off again: "I've had a long period of doing nothing, which has been self-imposed and wonderfully rewarding, I have to say, but mostly so because I've got a very busy second half of the year coming up". With a role in Scorsese's Hugo Cabret plus Soderbergh's upcoming thriller Contagion, he's not half wrong. With Sherlock Holmes 2 getting ready to shoot, he's got one hectic schedule.

Not that he dreads a return to Ritchie's streets of period London: "I had so much fun making Sherlock Holmes," he explained to Empire, "I was really pleased it was such a success but mostly because that will give me the opportunity to work with Robert and Guy again."

Director: Guy Ritchie
Cast: Robert Downey Jr, Jude Law, Rachel McAdams, Mark Strong, Kelly Reilly, Eddie Marsan
Certificate: 12A
Trailers/Clips

When the news spread that Guy Ritchie was taking on Arthur Conan Doyle's beloved brainbox, a little bit of fear was understandable. After all, this was the man who brought the world RocknRolla. The only people who weren't scared were the director's devoted fans. Not that their opinion mattered. And sure enough, he's given us a Sherlock sans deerstalker plus bare-knuckle brutality. This isn't the Holmes of your childhood. This isn't even a Holmes movie. This is a Robert Downey Jr movie. And it's quite a lot of fun.