Monday, 10 January 2011
Written by Ivan Radford
 Director: Tony Goldwyn Cast: Hilary Swank, Sam Rockwell, Minnie Driver Certificate: 12A Trailer Whenever someone lands on Go To Jail, you can always count on a relative to do something crazy like grab a gun and shoot up a courthouse. But the most dramatic way to bust your brother from behind bars? Devote decades to studying for a law degree and then becoming his defence attorney. It's all completely true - Conviction's story is based on real life. Which naturally makes it feel even more false.
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Wednesday, 05 January 2011
Written by Selina Pearson
 Director: Tom Hooper Cast: Colin Firth, Geoffrey Rush, Helena Bonham Carter, Michael Gambon, Guy Pearce Certificate: 12A Poor Bertie (Firth). He has to deal with something most of us hate: public speaking. He fluffs his way through a speech at a twin-towered Wembley, packed full of people for the closing ceremony for the Empire Exhibition. Not a good start for the King’s second son.
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Tuesday, 21 December 2010
Written by Ivan Radford
December flew by in a string of weekend wake-ups. But while the cool kids were watching free films, the REALLY cool kids were eating cupcakes - the even cooler kids stole several cupcakes for their imaginary children. With embargoes flying around like the lurgy, it came down to cupcakes to provide a metaphorical opinion outlet. So here are the definitive cupcake critiques for Gulliver's Travels and The Voyage of the Dawn Treader. And no, Disney didn't offer up cupcakes to the Tangled masses. Meanies. I had to review a banana just to get the cupcake withdrawal out of my system.
Gulliver's Travels | | The Voyage of the Dawn Treader |
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| What Twitter said (Before) "I fully expect this cupcake to be TERRIBLE" (After) "Delicious. Better than Narnia cupcake. Lots of frosting, nice light sponge & tiny bits of glitter on top" @robbiereviews: "YES!!!!! It wasn't just me!!!! (That loved the cupcake.)" |
| What Twitter said (Before) "Cupcake for the win! " (After, watching Love Actually) "Hugh Grant. Heathrow airport. VOMITS UP NARNIAN CUPCAKE"
| What the film review said "Robots and midgets and Jack Black. Oh my." |
| What the film review said "Too much crap sinks the script." | Cupcake verdict Sparkly glitter is great on top of any food. Especially when it's edible and you're not expecting it. Complete with its pretty swirly pink icing and moist centre, surprise cake was an ideal climax to Sunday morning breakfast. | | Cupcake verdict The swirly pink icing returns with a vengeance, but the dry sponge wasn't all that delectable. Plus it was ruined by having a giant Dawn Treader logo stuck on the top. Nice sexy hand holding it, though. I'm like Nigella innit. |
Monday, 20 December 2010
Written by Ivan Radford
 Director: Hideo Nakata Cast: Aaron Johnson, Imogen Poots, Hannah Murray, Daniel Kaluuya, Matthew Beard Certificate: 15 Oh, the wonders of the Internet, which allows you to be who you want to be, say what you want to say, and do what you want to do. Presumably all of these young people wanted to make a bad film. Luckily, online chatrooms exist to bring to life their most vivid dreams. Like Facebook. Or Twitter. But written ten years ago.
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Thursday, 16 December 2010
Written by Ivan Radford
 Directors: Henry Joost, Ariel Schulman Certificate: 12A When people first heard of a Facebook movie, this is the kind of thing they imagined instead of David Fincher's award-friendly drama. But even they couldn't have expected such an unsettling and poignant piece of cinema.
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Monday, 13 December 2010
Written by Ivan Radford
 Director: Joe Kosinski Cast: Jeff Bridges, Garrett Hedlund, Olivia Wilde, Michael Sheen Certificate: 12A Ground-breaking is a word that gets thrown around like a frisbee these days. This sequel to Disney's 1982 effects-smashing Tron looks impressive enough to claim such a grand moniker, but it's duller than dunking a Digestive in a cup of lukewarm tea. Yes, it's shiny and yes, it's blue but the most accurate adjective here is soggy. If we're keeping with the biscuit analogies, that is.
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Thursday, 09 December 2010
Written by Ivan Radford
 Director: Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck Cast: Johnny Depp, Angelina Jolie, Paul Bettany Certificate: 12AG Trailer Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck. It takes a great name to attract stars from Hollywood's A-list. Ever since 2006's The Lives of Others, it was clear that the man christened Florian by the Henckel von Donnermarcks was destined for great things. This isn't one of them.
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Monday, 06 December 2010
Written by Ivan Radford
 Director: Sofia Coppola Cast: Stephen Dorff, Elle Fanning Certificate: 15 Johnny (Dorff) is living the life of a Hollywood actor at full speed. But in between the booze, the parties and the endless sex, he's running on empty. He spends his ageing existence driving round and round in circles going nowhere. Literally. At least five times. Then Cleo (Fanning) enters his cluttered hotel room and things start to change gear.
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Tuesday, 30 November 2010
Written by Ivan Radford
 Director: Gareth Edwards Cast: Scoot McNairy, Whitney Able Certificate: 12A Trailer There aren't many. The only way the title could've been more misleading is if they got Mad Men's Jared Harris to announce the title in his best Gojira voice. But that's no fault of Gareth Edwards' first film - it's an engaging and character-driven slice of science fiction. A bit like District 9. But with fewer monsters.
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Tuesday, 30 November 2010
Written by Selina Pearson
 Director: Julian Schnabel Cast: Hiam Abbass, Freida Pinto, Alexander Siddig Certificate: 12A Director Julian Schnabel follows up his stunning 2007 film The Diving Bell and the Butterfly with Rula Jebreal’s autobiographical novel of her life in East Jerusalem. It interweaves the lives of four women, but doesn't come up with much of a tapestry.
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