Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's something far less exciting: the first image of Henry Cavill's Superman from Zack Snyder's Man of Steel.

The photo, which turned up online yesterday, shows Superman getting a little too violent with a bank vault - presumably because he slammed the door shut after "rescuing" some money from it (insert topical USA recession joke here). 

In other words, it's a bit underwhelming. I'd much rather have a picture of a bird or a plane.

Bird - very exciting 

Plane - also very exciting 

Henry Cavill's Superman - not a bird or plane

See what I mean? SuperMEH, more like.

Yes, it's shallow and misogynistic, but those people hating on Sucker Punch like Zack Snyder ran over their baby? Ignore them for a minute - for 6 minutes, if you can. Because Warner Bros (fighting the floppy US box office figures) are letting folks watch the first 5 minutes of Sucker Punch online.

The story of a young girl who escapes from a mental hospital by imagining she's a prostitute, Sucker Punch isn't the most pleasant material to come out of a bloke. But overlook the leering tone and there's some fun to be had. Most of it involving big guns and short skirts.

There's a lot of visual style running around the screen, especially in the latter half of the film (DRAGONS!), but try out the opening and get a taste for what many (ok, just me) are calling "the Citizen Kane of movies about semi-naked women with guns". Who knows? You may be shallow enough to like it.

Sucker Punch is out in cinemas today - and isn't all that bad (it's just mostly bad). Read a full review here, or read on for the full video.

Director: Zack Snyder
Cast: Emily Browning, Abbie Cornish, Vanessa Hudgens, Jena Malone, Jamie Chung
Certificate: 12A

How do you escape from a prison? Imagine you’re a prostitute. That’s what Baby Doll (Browning) does in Zack Snyder’s Sucker Punch, a bombastic bit of titty-loving action that mixes big explosions with small skirts. Trapped in a mental hospital by her evil father, Baby Doll does the sensible thing: she retreats into her imagination, which for some reason resembles a 1950s brothel. It’s like hanging out with Pan’s Labyrinth’s horny younger brother.

"YOU WILL BE UNPREPARED" screams the new trailer for Zack Snyder's Sucker Punch. Right in between shots of massive dragons, scantily clad girls, slow-motion explosions and helicopters.

Let's get a few things straight, Mr. Visionary Director of 300 and Watchmen:

1. I am very well prepared for Sucker Punch, having seen at least two trailers for this absurd nonsense already.

2. It has dragons. Everyone is prepared for dragons. If you are not prepared for dragons, YOU ARE A FOOL.

3. As prepared as I am, I still have not got a clue what is going on. I doubt anyone on set did either.

4. Vanessa Hudgens, Abbie Cornish, Carla Gugino and Jon Hamm. All of these are very cool names.

5. This trailer is nothing but an excuse for some very loud music by a band I have probably never heard of.

6. I AM VERY EXCITED.

7. Did I mention the dragons?

Here's the new trailer:

Director: Zack Snyder
Cast: Emily Browning, Abbie Cornish, Jena Malone, Vanessa Hudgens, Jamie Chung, Carla Gugino
Certificate: TBC
Release Date: Friday 1st April

Close your eyes. Open your mind. You will be unprepared.

Sucker Punch is an epic action fantasy that takes us into the vivid imagination of a young girl whose dream world provides the ultimate escape from her darker reality. She has been locked away against her will, but Babydoll (Emily Browning) has not lost her will to survive. Determined to fight for her freedom, she urges four other young girls — the outspoken Rocket (Jena Malone), the street-smart Blondie (Vanessa Hudgens), the fiercely loyal Amber (Jamie Chung) and the reluctant Sweet Pea (Abbie Cornish) — to band together and try to escape their terrible fate at the hands of their captors, Blue (Oscar Isaac), Madam Gorski (Carla Gugino) and the High Roller (Jon Hamm).

Led by Babydoll, the girls engage in fantastical warfare against everything from samurais to serpents, with a virtual arsenal at their disposal. Together, they must decide what they are willing to sacrifice in order to stay alive.

Told you it was awesome. Sucker Punch is out on Friday 1st April. With its potent mix of Shutter Island, breasts, dragons and guns, who knows? It could be April's Season of the Witch.

Head this way to see the two Sucker Punch trailers and have your mind/eyeballs truly blown.

Director: Zack Snyder
Cast: Jim Sturgess, Hugo Weaving, Helen Mirren, Sam Neill, Geoffrey Rush, Joel Edgerton, Abbie Cornish
Certificate: PG

After getting a taste of full-on slow-mo Owl action in Watchmen, Zack Snyder is back to bash birds together in 3D. Based on some books that no-one has ever heard of, The Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole is an epic adventure of fluffy, George Lucas proportions.

Zack Snyder's Watchmen, love it or hate it, was a successful movie. It busted those blocks with financial precision. Now, since that caused Alan Moore's graphic novel to rocket to the top of the best-seller list, DC is considering making a sequel. Watchmen 2.

Paul Levitz, head of DC, always stuck by Moore's seminal work, stating that it should be left as is: that, as comic book blog Bleeding Cool puts it, "the comic is the comic is the comic". But they have now reported that, with Levitz having stepped down, DC's Senior Vice President, Dan DiDio, is keen on expanding the Watchmen universe.

Will Dave Gibbons be convinced to step in for more books, artwork and, eventually, movies? Will Alan Moore's vision, now disowned by him since it got the Hollywood treatment, be even further tainted? After all, the reason the graphic novel (and the faithful, if shallow, film) remains so good is that it's been unmolested for 20 years.

All that just might change. For the worse. It's not hard to see why they want to chase the money down the shithole, especially with such fasinating characters as Rorschach. Perhaps a spin-off just for him. In which he dons his mask, picks up a can of deodorant, and torches DC's offices. Something like that.