The new Dark Knight Rises trailer has arrived and it's officially epic (as well as ridiculously early - it's not even 2012 yet, remember, and we've already had a teaser poster, a one-sheet poster and a teaser trailer).

"There's a storm coming Mr. Wayne..." whispers Anne Hathaway's Catwoman, all sexy and arousing. Then Tom Hardy's Bane walks in and destroys a football pitch. "MUMMBLE GRUNT HMMF MUMBLE!" he says, equally sexy and arousing.

At least, that's if you believe what the folks who saw the 9-minute IMAX prologue said last week. I was pleasantly surprised to find that I understood his dialogue (all one line of it) completely.

In other noteworthy news, Christopher Nolan and Bruce Wayne have created a Bat-Copter. And it looks awesome.

Read on to watch the full Dark Knight Rises trailer - or if you still can't get enough Batman hype, see our Super Mega Exclusive On-Set London Dark Knight Rises Photos(including the shocking reveal of Gotham's cheapest pork sausages).

You've all seen the official Dark Knight Rises one sheet already, but tough - I wanted to spend all afternoon drooling over it too.

"The Batman has to come back." "What if he doesn't exist anymore?"

Yes, the Dark Knight Rises official trailer has turned up online. And it's officially brilliant.

Ok, it amounts to little more than a compilation of Christopher Nolan's previous Batman films followed by 20 seconds of Gary Oldman in bed, but it's still pretty exciting.

The only sad part is that it's got generic title cards like "Every hero has a journey". You know what that means? That flipping Dark Knight Rises trailer description WAS RIGHT. Dammit.

Oh well, there's always that quick glimpse of Tom Hardy as Bane to put in me in a good mood. 

The Dark Knight Rises on Friday 20th July 2012. Read on for the full video.

Do you remember when all those sites started posting a leaked trailer for Fincher's Dragon Tattoo remake? Well, now film blogs have found another way to talk about an upcoming film at the earliest possible opportunity before the trailer's even been leaked. Imagine my surprise when I saw people posting descriptions of The Dark Knight Rises teaser trailer.

Actually, you don't have to imagine my surprise. You can read a description of it:

I was not surprised. 

 

Here's how the description of The Dark Knight Rises trailer starts (spoiler alert if you think it might actually be real):

And in case that description isn't enough for you, here's a description of the description of the trailer:

The description is in a red font. It opens with a mention of the studio logo. A film trailer starting with a studio logo? This can only be described as newsworthy.

Then there are some words that don't quite form a sentence, before BIG LETTERS spell out something that doesn't quite form a word. (What is this mysterious "JOURNAY"? If only someone could provide us with a handy description.)

All of this (probably fake) description is written in something that can't really be described as English, mainly because the person doing the describing didn't read a description of what a full stop is. 

And in case THAT description of the description wasn't enough for you, here's a description of the description of the description of the trailer:

Fecking pointless.

And here's a description of the t-shirt I was wearing while writing that description:

It's got a fish on it. 

I understand the excitement about The Dark Knight Rises. I'm looking forward to seeing the trailer when it does arrive, but I can wait to see it. I enjoyed the teaser poster for The Dark Knight Rises without needing a description a few days beforehand. (What would the description be? "It's a poster with a Batman logo on it.")

Are we really at the point now where websites are so desperate for Batman headlines that we need descriptions of everything, even a 93 second preview of a film that's not out for another 12 months? That's not impatient; it's silly. And the blogs I saw the trailer description on (SlashFilm and Collider)? I'd describe them as capable of much better work.

The first poster for The Dark Knight Rises has turned up online. And yes, it looks like this:

It arrives in the week that the first Dark Knight Rises teaser trailer is expected to accompany Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 in US cinemas. If those 93 seconds of video are half as good as this, I'll be happy.

It's even better than our exclusive on-set Dark Knight Rises photos, which included a picture of Gotham's discounted pork sausages. I'll be honest: I didn't think any photo could top that.

All this, and Anne Hathaway as Catwoman and Tom Hardy as Bane? Oh yes, my Dark Knight is rising...

The internet went all crazy this week when it turned out that BATMAN WAS IN LONDON.

As word spread that The Dark Knight Rises was shooting in Farringdon (classy), folks on Twitter started staking out the Farmiloe Building, which is used as the double for Gotham City police headquarters.

So naturally, I jaunted down there to get some hyper-exclusive SUPER-OMG on-set photos for myself.

I was not disappointed.

Strolling down St John Street, I could literally smell the sweat of the excited fanboys in Batman t-shirts running around with their phones. Getting closer, all the signs were there that this was a major Hollywood production.

Oh yes, there was no doubt about it. I was on my way to Tinseltown:

Christian Bale's a dead cert for Best Supporting Actor in The Fighter, which proves that there's one thing Bale is really good at: fighting. Ladies and Gentleman, Academy Award nominee Christian Bale. Punching people since 2000.
 

Director: David O'Russell
Cast: Mark Wahlberg, Christian Bale, Amy Adams, Melissa Leo
Certificate: 15

Micky Ward (Wahlberg) is a boxer - not a great one, but a good one. He's the younger brother of Dicky Ecklund (Bale). Dicky's a boxer too. He once knocked down Sugar Ray. Now he spends his days honking on his crack pipe and talking bollocks to a video camera.

Well, we all wanted The Tourist to win, but the Hollywood Foreign Press Association stuck to the predictable choices for most of the Golden Globes last night: The Social Network won the big ones, Christian Bale and Natalie Portman picked up something each and, of course, Colin Firth got his gong for Best Actor.

Putting The King's Speech on solid ground for an Oscar win, The Firthmeister accepted the award with all the British charm he could muster - which is a lot. Less charming for some was host Ricky Gervais, who started off risky and ended up a tamed beast who stuck to reading off cards.

His opening monologue accused The Tourist of bribing people, and also covered Charlie Sheen and Mel Gibson. Gasps and frowns went round the room, and Gervais promptly disappeared for an hour before reappearing with a more serious face. Still, he did better than Andrew Garfield, who stuttered his way through trying to say the word "inspiring" and failing miserably. But hey, he looked good while doing it, so it's fine.

The very minor surprises of the night came from Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross beating safe bet Alexandre Desplat to Best Score for The Social Network. Yes, that's right: Nine Inch Nails have now won a Golden Globe. Paul Giamatti also unexpectedly won Best Comedy Actor for Barney's Version, an award I thought would go to double-nominee Johnny Depp. The only other non-shock? In a Better World winning Best Foreign Language Film, proving that the Hollywood Foreign Press Association don't always just vote for Iñárritu by default.

But the best moment of the evening? The bit when Robert De Niro made a joke about Little Fockers. And 3D. And private schools. And immigration. It was a long acceptance speech for his Cecil B. DeMille Award, but The De Niro Stand-Up Hour won the Meet the Parents and Machete star back a lot of his credibility.

That was only rivalled by Lee Unkrich bashing down Justin Bieber, who presented him with the Best Animated Film award: "Were you even born when the original Toy Story was released?" Unkrich quipped. Sadly, he was.

Read on for the complete list of winners. And to see Ricky Gervais' opening monologue.

A new TV spot for The Fighter has punched its way online via Mad Men. Because everyone know that all the cool people watch Mad Men.

That was actually the reason behind Paramount's decision to put together a quick trailer for the movie: the ABC show is watched by "high end, smart, savvy" people. In other words, the kind of people who vote for the Oscars.

Directed by David O Russell, The Fighter is about boxer Micky Ward (Mark Wahlberg), whose relationship with his washed-up brother (Christian Bale) complicates his attempts to return to the top of the sport. Amy Adams is in it, too. And it's totally based on a true story and stuff.

It hits US cinemas on Friday 10th December, right in time for Awards season. Whether it'll get any with its earnest cast and OTT music is another matter entirely. We'll find out in the UK around Friday 4th February.

Check out the TV spot over at Deadline, or read on for the full video.