The new Dark Knight Rises trailer has arrived and it's officially epic (as well as ridiculously early - it's not even 2012 yet, remember, and we've already had a teaser poster, a one-sheet poster and a teaser trailer).

"There's a storm coming Mr. Wayne..." whispers Anne Hathaway's Catwoman, all sexy and arousing. Then Tom Hardy's Bane walks in and destroys a football pitch. "MUMMBLE GRUNT HMMF MUMBLE!" he says, equally sexy and arousing.

At least, that's if you believe what the folks who saw the 9-minute IMAX prologue said last week. I was pleasantly surprised to find that I understood his dialogue (all one line of it) completely.

In other noteworthy news, Christopher Nolan and Bruce Wayne have created a Bat-Copter. And it looks awesome.

Read on to watch the full Dark Knight Rises trailer - or if you still can't get enough Batman hype, see our Super Mega Exclusive On-Set London Dark Knight Rises Photos(including the shocking reveal of Gotham's cheapest pork sausages).

You've all seen the official Dark Knight Rises one sheet already, but tough - I wanted to spend all afternoon drooling over it too.

"The Batman has to come back." "What if he doesn't exist anymore?"

Yes, the Dark Knight Rises official trailer has turned up online. And it's officially brilliant.

Ok, it amounts to little more than a compilation of Christopher Nolan's previous Batman films followed by 20 seconds of Gary Oldman in bed, but it's still pretty exciting.

The only sad part is that it's got generic title cards like "Every hero has a journey". You know what that means? That flipping Dark Knight Rises trailer description WAS RIGHT. Dammit.

Oh well, there's always that quick glimpse of Tom Hardy as Bane to put in me in a good mood. 

The Dark Knight Rises on Friday 20th July 2012. Read on for the full video.

Do you remember when all those sites started posting a leaked trailer for Fincher's Dragon Tattoo remake? Well, now film blogs have found another way to talk about an upcoming film at the earliest possible opportunity before the trailer's even been leaked. Imagine my surprise when I saw people posting descriptions of The Dark Knight Rises teaser trailer.

Actually, you don't have to imagine my surprise. You can read a description of it:

I was not surprised. 

 

Here's how the description of The Dark Knight Rises trailer starts (spoiler alert if you think it might actually be real):

And in case that description isn't enough for you, here's a description of the description of the trailer:

The description is in a red font. It opens with a mention of the studio logo. A film trailer starting with a studio logo? This can only be described as newsworthy.

Then there are some words that don't quite form a sentence, before BIG LETTERS spell out something that doesn't quite form a word. (What is this mysterious "JOURNAY"? If only someone could provide us with a handy description.)

All of this (probably fake) description is written in something that can't really be described as English, mainly because the person doing the describing didn't read a description of what a full stop is. 

And in case THAT description of the description wasn't enough for you, here's a description of the description of the description of the trailer:

Fecking pointless.

And here's a description of the t-shirt I was wearing while writing that description:

It's got a fish on it. 

I understand the excitement about The Dark Knight Rises. I'm looking forward to seeing the trailer when it does arrive, but I can wait to see it. I enjoyed the teaser poster for The Dark Knight Rises without needing a description a few days beforehand. (What would the description be? "It's a poster with a Batman logo on it.")

Are we really at the point now where websites are so desperate for Batman headlines that we need descriptions of everything, even a 93 second preview of a film that's not out for another 12 months? That's not impatient; it's silly. And the blogs I saw the trailer description on (SlashFilm and Collider)? I'd describe them as capable of much better work.

The first poster for The Dark Knight Rises has turned up online. And yes, it looks like this:

It arrives in the week that the first Dark Knight Rises teaser trailer is expected to accompany Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 in US cinemas. If those 93 seconds of video are half as good as this, I'll be happy.

It's even better than our exclusive on-set Dark Knight Rises photos, which included a picture of Gotham's discounted pork sausages. I'll be honest: I didn't think any photo could top that.

All this, and Anne Hathaway as Catwoman and Tom Hardy as Bane? Oh yes, my Dark Knight is rising...

The internet went all crazy this week when it turned out that BATMAN WAS IN LONDON.

As word spread that The Dark Knight Rises was shooting in Farringdon (classy), folks on Twitter started staking out the Farmiloe Building, which is used as the double for Gotham City police headquarters.

So naturally, I jaunted down there to get some hyper-exclusive SUPER-OMG on-set photos for myself.

I was not disappointed.

Strolling down St John Street, I could literally smell the sweat of the excited fanboys in Batman t-shirts running around with their phones. Getting closer, all the signs were there that this was a major Hollywood production.

Oh yes, there was no doubt about it. I was on my way to Tinseltown:

There have been some awesome movie trailers this year, plus the usual load of trash. But the teasers that tipped over the edge into classy territory? Well, only a few managed to be a cut above the rest. And while they were all well and great, only one of those really deserves the honour of Best Trailer of 2010.

That film is Rubber.

A film about a tyre that rolls around killing things with its telephatic powers.

Ya, rly.

There are other video efforts worth saluting. But none of them even come close to Quentin Dupieux's inflatable psychic killing machine (thanks to Twitchfilm for the rubber-tastic image). Still, if you like your movies non-road safe and free of exploding birds, Read on for the other top trailers of 2010.

WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. WRONG.

Speaking of wrong, let's talk about the Golden Globe nominations. The nominations which not only suggested that The Tourist was one of the Best Films of the year (Comedy or Musical), but also that Johnny Depp's performance in it was only rivalled by his other performance in Alice in flipping Wonderland.

There's not been a more wrong set of votes since Nick Clegg won Most Honest Pupil at his primary school in 1977.  

In the Drama categories, everything stayed on course. Most of the time. Black Swan, The Social Network and The King's Speech are all fighting it out with The Fighter as expected. Even Inception has got a look in, which is a reassuring sign that Nolan won't get snubbed again at the Oscars after The Dark Knight's lack of screenplay/director nominations.

But then weird things happened. Like David O'Russell and Tom Hooper getting the nod ahead of Danny Boyle. Wrong. Nicole Kidman in Rabbit Hole getting a nomination instead of Sally Hawkins in Made in Dagenham. Wrong. Scott Pilgrim not getting mentioned anywhere, never mind The Ghost (Writer). WRONG.

The only thing the HFPA got right (other than Christopher Nolan's Best Director nom) was Emma Stone's mention for Easy A. That and giving both Julianne Moore and Annette Bening a place in the line-up for The Kids Are All Right, which is also holding its own in the screenplay category.

Still, at least How to Train Your Dragon is getting some recognition in the Best Animated Feature race. Toy Story 3 will beat everything to it, but if you don't smile like a baby when you see The Illusionist's nomination, you're as thick as Angelina Jolie's lips.

Read on for the full list of film nominees. Then count how long until you start shouting "STOP GETTING GLOBES WRONG!"

So that's the title of the third Batman film: The Dark Knight Rises.

So much for The Dark Knight Returns - clearly a better title. Nolan confirmed the sequel's name to the LA Times, also ruling out The Riddler as a villain. He also spoke about his determined dislike of 3D, and had this to add:

"We’ll use many of the same characters as we have all along, and we’ll be introducing some new ones". It's enigmatic as usual, but I'll forgive any director who not only makes Inception but also prefers IMAX to 3D.

Tom Hardy has been recruited for Christopher Nolan's third Batman film. The world rejoices.

It may not be much of a surprise after his scene-stealing performance in Inception, but Nolan has brought in Hardy for an unconfirmed role in Batman 3. So naturally everyone is presuming he'll play the villain. And everyone's presuming the villain is The Riddler.

All the rumour and conjecture is a little pre-emptive, but it's hard not to be a little excited. Especially with Hardy coming off the back of Thomas Alfredson's Tinker, Tailor, Soldier Spy - he's getting some top-notch work at the moment. You could include Mad Max: Fury Road in there too, I suppose, but luckily that's been delayed so he has time for The Dark Knight's return.

With the script being scribbled away by Jonah Nolan and David Goyer, Batman 3 is slowly starting to gather momentum. Until the inevitable announcement that Tom will be playing Robin. Or Batgirl. Or, even worse, Mr Freeze.