Whether you're Sir Laurence Olivier or a small boy blagging a job as third assistant director on a film set, the chances are that you have, at some point, been hopelessly in love with Marilyn Monroe. Even if you've never met her.

But not so for Simon Curtis. The BAFTA and Emmy-nominated director of Cranford, Pride and David Copperfield was never a die-hard Monroe fan. So why did he direct My Week with Marilyn, a film about the iconic sex symbol's attempts to act seriously in Olivier's conflict-filled production of The Prince and the Showgirl?

He rang me up yesterday morning to explain himself, and contribute to My Week with My Week with Marilyn by discussing Michelle Williams, Colin Clark's memoirs and the Oscar buzz surrounding his charming film.

Michael Fassbender spanking Keira Knightley? It doesn't get more dangerous than that. But put Viggo Mortensen into the mix and you've got one risky (and, indeed, risqué) threesome. It goes without saying that it takes a truly crazy person to make a film about all of them.

Enter David Cronenberg, the madman who gave us The Fly and eXistenZ, as well as Eastern Promises and A History of Violence, a.k.a. them two films in which Viggo Mortensen takes his clothes off.

But how did it feel to take another man's clothes off instead? And where does Vincent Cassell fit in? And what on earth does the writer of the original play, Christopher Hampton, think of it all?

We hung upside down on the ceiling of the Odeon West End holding a dictaphone above a pool of sharks to bring you the life-threatening answers. Here are five dangerous notions we discovered at the A Dangerous Method LFF press conference:

After The Ides of March UK premiere on Wednesday, Alexander Payne's Hawaii-based film about a father and a husband was bound to invite yet more questions about George Clooney's desperate need to find a nice girl, settle down and become a dad.

But other issues were raised, thankfully, and the Shallene Woodley, Sideways director Alexander Payne and Clooney discussed a range of topics, from Batman and the film's tropical location to the importance of reading scripts.

Here are five things we learned from The Descendants press conference:

We Need to Talk About Kevin is an oddly British film. It's filmed with British money, helmed by a British director, and scripted by British writers - but it's made in the States.

It's also a rather good argument against procreation (spawning a child of pure evil is enough to put even the broodiest mother off parenthood). But even with all the resentment on show, We Need to Talk About Kevin is a compelling watch. So the question remains: why would anyone want to make this film? And is the answer as disturbing as the story's violent climax?

Here are the five most shocking things from the We Need to Talk About Kevin LFF press conference: 

Ralph Fiennes has been wowing audiences with his directorial debut Coriolanus - including us. Taking Shakespeare's Rome and replacing it with Serbia, screenwriter John Logan has kept the play's themes of war and betrayal firmly relevant to the modern day.

So what's the secret to updating Shakespeare? And was Jon Snow the most talented newsreader on set?

Here are five things we learned from the Coriolanus LFF press conference:

The London Film Festival opened last night with 360, Fernando Meirelles' globe-trotting tale of interconnected romances. Unfortunately, it's a little bit pants (read our 360 LFF review). 

But while this modern take on Schnitzler's play La Ronde lacks the sexual tension of syphilis-ridden Vienna or Contagion's risk of catching rabies off Gwyneth Paltrow, writer Peter Morgan is pleased with the script, and the cast enjoy the global scale of events - even if no-one else does. 

So why on earth did Meirelles and Morgan make 360 in the first place? And where did it all go wrong?

Here are five things we learned from the London Film Festival's 360 press conference:

Acts of Godfrey is one of the most memorable films from this year's Raindance Film Festival. Maybe it's the fact that Simon Callow's in it. Maybe it's because it's written entirely in rhyming couplets. Or maybe it's because its director, Johnny Daukes, is just really talented.

Writing and directing the low-budget black comedy, Daukes got everyone talking in verse for 16 days, and then wrote the soundtrack to go with the film. When I phone him for a chat about his directorial debut, he's busy writing the press notes for the movie.

“It’s like, you know when your nan’s been round, and you finally get rid of her and then she turns up again?” says Daukes about re-reading the screenplay to pick out good quotes to go in the synopsis.

I comment that he obviously means that in a good way. Doesn't he? “Erm, not entirely!”

We go on to chat about Acts of Godfrey and what he's got planned next. Here's what he had to say about filming in a working hotel, chance and fate, and chucking buckets of water over a naked man in a car park.

There's nowt like getting up at 10 in the morning to go to a roundtable interview with the directors of the greatest Disney movie ever made. That's 10am US Pacific Time, by the way. So yes, I made a special effort and got out of bed at 6pm to make a long journey all the way to the interview. That's a virtual interview, by the way.

After getting up before 6pm, walking across the room to the computer and shouting a few things in South African in the Rafiki style, I was ready to go. All that because The Lion King is out in cinemas again today? I wouldn't have made all that effort for something stupid like Cars, you know.

So anyway, here's what Roger Allers and Bob Minkoff had to say (or type, whatever) about Hamlet, Elton John and post-converting the Disney classic into three dimension as we threw virtual questions at them through the circle of WiFi (ahem).

Sitting down in the Arts Picturehouse, Cambridge, Paddy Considine is an interesting figure to behold. His tattooed arms and slicked back hair are almost intimidating, especially when he vents about the frustrations of acting on films with "the biggest assholes out there", and the ferocity with which he talks about his directorial debut, Tyrannosaur.

You almost wonder how much he's got in common with Joseph (Peter Mullan), the angry, misunderstood man at the heart of Tyrannosaur's monstrous story. Then you see him smile before he sits down and those thoughts disappear instantly.

"Let's just get a kebab and stroll around the town!" he laughs, debating with his people what to do during the UK premiere of his film.

The intensity he gives off isn't anger; it's a passion for what he's created. And given the emotional beast he's produced, you can't really blame him.

The film follows Joseph and his relationship with Hannah (Olivia Colman), a kind-hearted charity shop worker who is ritually beaten by her husband. They first met in a short film, Dog Altogether, which won Paddy a BAFTA four years ago. So where did the characters come from initially? 

Sometimes in life, you just want to stand and stare in awe at a man with thighs as big as a Death Star. At other times, you want to hear exactly what he has to say about playing Conan the Barbarian.

And so it's lucky that Jason Momoa (a.k.a. Mr. Barbarian with Not Many Clothes On from Game of Thrones) was stomping around The O2 and scaring small children at Empire's BigScreen event. Here's what he had to say about horses, samurai swords and reworking Robert E. Howard's fantasy hero. 

You look like you were born to play Conan and you've said before that you remember seeing it as a child. Did Conan stick with you growing up?

It did, man. I saw Frank Frazetta’s art and it seared on my memory. I love his paintings. They’re so amazing. The way he captures movement, the raw power and that whole world it makes you want to read the stories of Robert E. Howard. So I was a big fan.