"The machine is McCullens! He's Scottish! Maybe it only responds to Gaelic!" No-one ever praised G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra for its dialogue. And rightly so - it was a pile of shite. But while the general public recover from Christopher Eccleston's sell-out turn, Paramount were busy counting their millions, remembering their evil plan: to make a franchise based on a plastic toy.

And so the inevitable sequel comes about. But while you may cower in fear, there's a tiny fragment of hope to cling to: Rhett Rheese and Paul Wernick, the writers of Zombieland, have been signed up to script it. The duo, already doing Deadpool as well as a Zombieland 2, are clocking up the geek points with this project.

Will they get their own brand of fun and humour through the production mill? Probably not. But there's still hope. Then again, hope didn't help much with the first one - that was scripted by Stuart Beattie. He was the guy who wrote Collateral.