Bridesmaids painted the town pink over the weekend, strolling down the aisle with £3.4m shoved up its dress. 

That's a strong opening figure for the Judd Apatow comedy, which has deservedly received a massive amount of positive buzz thanks to talker preview screenings, critical praise and a big US box office haul.

It debuted in the States with $26m, which suggested a £2.6m opening here in the UK, so Universal will be pleased with £3.4m. Clearing the £3m mark at all is excellent for a comedy (ignoring its extensive previews, Paul took £3.2m over three days back in February) so Bridesmaids' UK debut is worth getting excited about. The fat one in the film probably pooed herself when she heard the news.

X-Men: First Class hit first place at the UK Box Office with an opening of £5.4m. 

That sounds pretty groovy for a 60s-set mutant prequel, but it's actually the weakest of the franchise since the original X-Men back in 2000. Arriving without any audience awareness of the series, Bryan Singer's comic book movie opened on £4.8m - Fox would have been hoping for slightly more evolved figures by now.

With the other X-Men films taking between £6m and £7m on their debuts, Matthew Vaughn's excellent blockbuster is quite a way behind. Still, it has far more positive buzz than Brett Ratner's X-Men 3 or 2009's Wolverine outing, which may keep its powers strong enough to claw together a stronger total.

First Class almost took second place in the UK Top Ten thanks to The Hangover II. Even with a 15 certificate and a lot of backlash, Todd Phillips' sequel, which took just under £4m in its second weekend, has already passed the £20m barrier. 

That's a horrendously high amount for a 2D comedy - in fact, it's earned more than three times the £7.7m The Hangover had totalled up over two weeks in 2009. Feel free to bash your head against a brick wall at any point in the next seven days.

The Hangover: Part II hung over the UK Box Office this weekend, with a headache-inducing total of £10.4m.

That's a scarily high amount for Todd Phillips' offensively unfunny sequel. It's triple the amount of the first film, which took £3.2m on its opening weekend. That's the kind of figure you normally expect from a comedy (Paul opened earlier this year with a very strong £5.5m including previews), so £10.4m will be making Warner Bros very happy. Everyone else, of course, will just be dismayed.

Not even Jack Sparrow could hold it off the UK Top Ten top spot. Pirates of the Caribbean 4, which was considered to be doing well last week, earned half The Hangover 2's amount at number two, pillaging its way to a hoard of £4.7m.

That's a drop of around 40%, which gives it a large running total (just under £20m) but leaves it quite a way behind the last few in the franchise - Pirates 2 had £26.7m after two weeks in cinemas. With 567 and 469 screens respectively, though, Pirates 4 and The Hangover 2 will be serious competitors against X-Men: First Class this weekend.

With all the blockbuster action and 15-rated comedy on offer, parents with younger children have little other choice than Diary of a Wimpy Kid 2. Which explains why Fox's sequel got almost £1.5m over the weekend - a great result given the first Diary of a Wimpy Kid debuted with £600k odd. 

Disney will be looking to take family audiences away from X-Men and Thor with Jack Sparrow, but the only other half-term option is Rio, which has been around for way too long already. Greg Hefley hung around for 5 weeks last year to chalk up a total of £2.5m, so Wimpy Kid 2 will be expecting a nice healthy run - at least until Kung Fu Panda 2 bounces into multiplexes (the previews this week have had a very strong response).

The rest of the UK Top Ten remains largely unchanged, as Fast Five continues to race towards a cumulative gross of £20m. Attack the Block, meanwhile, dropped 60% down at number nine, and will inevitably lose quite a few screens to Marvel's mutants and Dreamworks' panda. Bare sad, innit, blud.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides sailed to the top of the UK Box Office this weekend, pillaging its way to a treasure hoard of £11.63m. 

That's the biggest opening of the year so far, and also Disney's fourth biggest opening of all time. It's a fair bit behind At World's End's debut of £13.4m back in 2007, especially given the boost in 3D ticket revenue, but Disney will be pleased that Jack Sparrow still has some pirate gold in him after several (wrong) negative reviews. Yo ho and all that.

You can tell it's blockbuster season just by glancing at the rest of the UK Top Ten. Fast & Furious Five is still at full throttle in second place (continuing to beat its hairy rival Thor) but took just £587k. Marvel's superhero, meanwhile, hammered together a meagre £528k. 

Neither are very big figures for such large films, but they're far from failing (a £17m running total for Fast Five is way ahead of the rest of the series). It's just that there's no room for them. Pirates 4 has commandeered 569 sites across the UK. That's more than The King's Speech at its peak of dominance. As a result, Disney's franchise is earning around 20 times the amount of its closest runner-up.

Thor thundered ahead at the UK Box Office this week, holding on the top spot after its £5m debut. 

Marvel's superhero lost around 40% of last week's takings, but has hammered together a £9.5m running total, which will keep the makers of The Avengers happy for now.

Fast Five is right behind the God of Thunder with £1.6m stashed firmly in the boot. After three weeks on release, Vin Diesel's racer has accelerated past the £13.5m gross from the last Fast and Furious film, making it the fastest and most furious in the whole series. Bald men up and down the country will be sweating profusely with excitement.

Insidious, meanwhile, is in a strong third position, boasting a teeny 9% drop as people begin to spread the word about the Saw director's horror film. It's almost at the £4m mark in total, but expect this one to reach a fair bit higher than that.

All the three holdovers held back the weekend's new releases. Emerging at the head of the pack is Water for Elephants, the watery film about elephants and Robert Pattinson. Thanks to previews from Wednesday onwards, R-Patz beat Saoirse Ronan's Hanna to the UK Top Ten's fourth spot. But we all know she could take him in a proper fight.

Thor hammered its way to the top of the UK Box Office last weekend to take home £5.45m. 

Marvel were hoping that the Norse god of thunder would strike hard in the UK, given that Thor's the cornerstone for all upcoming Avengers releases.

To avoid any threat of the Royal Wedding distracting cinema-goers, they promptly stuck three days of previews on the front of the film, picking up £2.3m from Monday, Wednesday and Thursday combined. Include the bank holiday Monday on the other side of the weekend and Thor smashes clean past the £6m mark. 

It's a convincing show from Kenneth Branagh's superhero, one that matches the results from the less hirsute Fast and Furious Five on the weekend before. It's no surprise, then, that the Vin Diesel car flick is still speeding along in second place.

With a drop of less than 40%, Fast Five has a current total of £11m odd, which almost equals the £13.5m final gross from the fourth Fast and Furious film in 2009. No wonder Justin Lin is gearing up for a sixth.

Fast Five raced to the UK Box Office top spot last weekend, raking in £5.3m in an eggs-cellent Easter weekend turnover. For Universal, that's almost as good as the news that I won't make any more egg puns for the rest of this article.

The fourth sequel in the franchise outperformed all the other new releases (not to mention the previous Fast and Furious films - the last one opened on £4.9m), mostly thanks to a whole Thursday of previews.

With many films struggling to break the £1m weekly mark these days (partly down to the sunny weather), getting into the £5m zone is impressive. It's even better when you include the Monday's takings, which saw Fast Five's total jump to over £6m.

Arthur was the main contender for the UK public's affections, but Russell Brand's rather likeable comedy, which got several bad reviews, didn't win many fans - it opened with a moderately respectable £764k.

That's OK given the appeal of the pretty Easter outdoors, but it's a long way off what Warner Bros would have expected, even after Arthur's moderately lacklustre $12m opening in the US. Brand's last major comedy, Get Him to the Greek, debuted with £1.56m in the middle of June - over double the amount the rich billionaire racked up.

Limitless rides a high of £2.1m at the UK Box Office this week, after beating off mild competition from The Eagle and A Turtle's Tail. Drugs are good, mmkay?

Bradley Cooper's pill-popping thriller had two days of previews to help shoot up its solid total, but practically doubled the returns for second place 3D kids film A Turtle's Tail, which actually opened on more screens.

The Eagle marched into third, almost matching Turtle's takings of just over £1m. That's a little behind the £1.5m Kevin McDonald's State of Play took in its first week back in 2009, but then Channing Tatum is hardly Russell Crowe.

Interestingly, the historical hack-and-slash adventure showed in more cinemas than the top two films - the only movie more widely shown over the weekend was fourth place Rango. The success of Limitless, then, is testament to the impact of Bradley Cooper's face, which wooed audiences into multiplexes and also formed the basis of an inspired advertising campaign on The Tube.

Rango has reached the top of the UK Box Office after a lukewarm week that saw no-one make very much money. But don't worry: Submarine didn't sink, even if it did surface in 12th place. More on that later.

Dreamworks' animated Western took the number one spot from Battle: Los Angeles, dropping 32% down to £1.05m. That's not a lot for a chart-topper, but it's got a healthy £5m running total now, which it's clocked up outside of half term and without 3D uplifts.

It's also the only film to take more than £1 million this week, as it doesn't look like many people went to the pictures over the weekend: Rango's £500k drop is more than most of the new releases made in their first week.

Chalet Girl sloped in at number four (the highest of the debuts) with an alright £677k. Taking into account the usually reliable demographic of teenage girls, though, it's a bit of a downhill run for the rather excellent rom-com (that's right: it's excellent). Still, its Wednesday-Thursday previews helped it jump over The Lincoln Lawyer, which came in fifth with £571k.

The week's other popular release was Anuvahood, which had a solid opening, taking £536k from around 149 cinemas. That's an average of £3,600 per screen, the best of the UK Top Ten, which not only beats Felicity Jones and Matthew McConaughey but also makes it look bare easy, blud, you get me? Regardless of negative reviews and the limited print run, the audience for the gangsta comedy clearly liked the film - even more than I liked using the word 'blud' in that last sentence.

Battle: Los Angeles stormed the UK Box Office this weekend with an opening of £1.79m. That’s just ahead of Rango, which took £1.54m in its second week.

Jonathan Liebesman’s crap alien invasion didn’t light up the UK as it did the US ($36m across the pond should have led to £3.6m here), but Aaron Eckhart’s chin stuck out just far enough to hold off Nickelodeon’s Sergio Chameleone – and that’s no mean feat, given that the gun-toting lizard dropped a microscopic 6.02%. That’s a difference of just £98k from its £1.64m opening, proving that people are still enjoying Rango outside of half term.

The week’s other victory belonged to Unknown, as Liam Neeson leapfrogged Matt Damon into third place. Neeson’s amnesiac revenge thriller had the higher screen average last week and continues to pack in the punters, even though The Adjustment Bureau holds around 100 more screens. So while Damon dropped a typical 35%, Neeson shaved off only 23%. Bourne meets Aslan. Aslan wins.