Ok folks, put down your fried chicken, because here it is: your chance to meet Hogwart's only black kid, Bem.

It's not until halfway through the third Harry Potter film that Bem appears. He turns up whenever anyone mentions the words "dark" or "black" to add a bit of colour to the scene.

He only says two lines in the entire movie, so it's with great excitement that we present this exclusive interview with Bem. The unsung star of Prisoner of Azkaban finally has the chance to speak about Harry Potter, institutionalised racism, and his acting career in general.

Behold the king of black magic. This is Bem, in his own words. 

Hi Bem, how are you?

Grim.

Grin? Great. We all like to smile now and then.

Not Grin, you idiot. The Grim.

Grim? Oh dear.

Taking the form of a giant spectral dog, it's among the darkest omens in the world.

Do tell me more.

It's an omen... OF DEATH.

I see. So, erm, let's talk about your acting. Where are you in your career now? 

It's like trying to catch smoke...

Can you elaborate on that?

... like trying to catch smoke with your bare hands.

Ok. Right. But have you plans to appear anywhere else?

Black could be ANYWHERE...

Bem is credited in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban as "Boy 1". He has no plans to appear in any other film unless it involves saying lots of black-isms. All hail this institutionally racist legend.